The Chatroom for Champions
by CrosserX
Summary: Logan is away on constant missions, keeping up with the team by chat room! Now they're all hooked: Scott keeps it professional. Storm and Rouge play pranks on Internet-Goers. And Emma keeps changing her screen name. Who knows what will happen? Emma/Logan.
1. Chapter 1

**Chatroom Welcome!**

**Login: WeaponX**

***Phoenix4ever** has joined your chat.*

***OpticBlast12** has joined your chat.*

**Phoenix4ever**: Hey, Logan! :D How's your trip?

**WeaponX**: Eh, same old, same old. How's things at the mansion?

**Opticblast12**: Great! :D

**WeaponX**:?

**Opticblast12**: You're not here.

**WeaponX**: Ah.

**Phoenix4ever**: *Sighs*

***Opticblast12** has logged off.*

**WeaponX**: So, Jeannie . . . just you a me now.

***Phoenix4ever** has logged off.*

* * *

><p><strong>CloudyDay<strong>: Hey, Logan.

**WeaponX**: Hey, Storm.

**CloudyDay**: Are you on your way home yet?

**WeaponX**: On the plane now.

**CloudyDay**: :D

**WeaponX**: You seem happy . . .

**CloudyDay**: Just glad to see my friend home.

* * *

><p><strong>LiquidDiamondLipstick<strong>: Logan, darling, on your way home?

**WeaponX: **Hey, Emma. Yeah, just got done talking to Ororo. Another new screen name?

**LiquidDiamondLipstick: **Yes, well, BowDownBeforeMe was a bit cocky, apparently, so I took John Sublimes word of advice, and now I'm Liquid.

**WeaponX: **Hmph.

**LiquidDiamondLipstick: **Plans for when you get home?

**WeaponX**: Beer, sleep, more beer, and then torturing kids in the Danger Room.

**LiquidDiamondLipstick: **Oh, lovely. Need help on that last?

**WeaponX: **It would be a pleasure working with you, Liquid.

**LiquidDiamondLipstick: **Back at you, Weapon.

**WeaponX: **I'll be home soon. Be safe.

**LiquidDiamondLipstick: **Be on time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chatroom Welcome!**

**Login: CloudyDay**

Friends online:

**TouchyFeely;)**

**KingOfHearts**

**KittyKat**

**CloudyDay**: ToucheyFeely – You on?

**TouchyFeely;): **Yessum**.**

**CloudyDay**: Great.

**TouchyFeely;): **I think we killed ol' Hank a bit on the inside when we sent him that letter.

**CloudyDay**: Oh, haha. "Dearest Mr. McCoy, my darling, how much I love you, sincerely, Gambit."

**TouchyFeely;): **Remy almost killed me when I got home XD

**CloudyDay**: XD

**TouchyFeely;): **Who next?

**CloudyDay**: Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea as to who deserves the next one.

**TouchyFeely;): **Scott?

**CloudyDay**: Are you a telepath?

**TouchyFeely;): **;D

**CloudyDay**: This should be amusing, though I'm still slightly baffled by the Internet.

**TouchyFeely;): **Yeah, it's great, ain't it?

**CloudyDay**: Shall we put Plan Summers in action?

**TouchyFeely;)**: Indeed.

**CloudyDay**: I'll be right over.

**TouchyFeely;): **HURRY!


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: Language and Chain Mail.**

**WeaponX**: So I was like, die, bitch, die. And she did.

**Phoenix4ever**: Sounds like you had fun.

**WeaponX**: It was pretty hilarious when her butt caught fire.

***OpticBlast12** has joined your chat.*

**WeaponX**: Greeeeeeaaaatttt.

**OpticBlast12**: I just got a really disturbing eMail!

**WeaponX**: Kinky disturbing, or I-Want-To-Kill-You-in-The-Face disturbing?

**OpticBlast12**: From a site called SummersChainMail dot Com!

**WeaponX**: Oh, this should be good.

**Phoenix4ever: **Let's see it!

**OpticBlast12**: Here:

Dear Mister Summers,

My name is Rachel Langley, of Heritage Springs High School, Nevada. We are huge fans of you here in Heritage Springs, so we started a website in your honor. It started out as a regular fan site, but it got so over-take by chain mail, that we decided to just make a chain mail site and name it after you.

If You Don't Send This to Eight People in Six Minutes, You Will Die a Fiery Sentinel Death on November 12th.

Sincerely,

Rachel Langley

President of SummersChainMail dot Com

**OpticBlast12: **!

**WeaponX**: This is great. It's good to see young people getting involved in group organizations.

**OpticBlast12**: Everyone's going to think I'm sending them obsessive chain mail!

**WeaponX**: And the Sentinel. Don't forget the Sentinel.

**Phoenix4ever**: You better send that letter, Scott, or you're going to die a fiery sentinel death tomorrow.

**WeaponX**: On second thought, don't send that letter.

**OpticBlast12**: I'm not sending to ANYONE. People will think I'm a loser!

**WeaponX**: Scott, don't think about that. Everyone already knows you're a loser.

**Phoenix4ever**: Do you have life insurance? Like, as your wife, would I get more cash then Alex? Jw.

**OpticBlast12**: This isn't funny.

**WeaponX**: I beg to differ.

**Phoenix4ever**: Lighten up, Scott. It's just a couple of High School kids.

***SuperDeadpool** has joined your chat*

**SuperDeadpool**: OpticBlast12 – stop sending me chain mail, you stupid son of a bitch!

***SuperDeadpool **has logged off*

**WeaponX**: Heh.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chatroom Welcome!**

** Login: TouchyFeely;)**

**TouchyFeely;): **Did You See Scott's FACE!

**CloudyDay**: Bahahahahahaha!

**TouchyFeely;): **And when he opened his bedroom door, and there was the papier-mâché Sentinel?

**CloudyDay**: He screamed so girly, I thought it was Jean!

**TouchyFeely;): **You did a wonderful job.

**CloudyDay**: Thank you, Rouge. Or should I say, Rachel Langley?

**TouchyFeely;): **Of Heritage Springs High School, of course!

**CloudyDay**: Serves him right for waking us up for Danger Room sessions on a Saturday!

**TouchyFeely;): **We shall take over the mansion, prank by prank.

**CloudyDay**: And the Professor?

**TouchyFeely;): **Hmmm. We'll need time to think on his. He's so hard to trick!

**CloudyDay**: Indeed he is. And he'll be expecting it.

**TouchyFeely;): **We'll have to be slick.

**CloudyDay**: Did you send him a SummersChainMail introduction letter?

**TouchyFeely;)**: Indeed.

**CloudyDay**: We're so awesome.

**TouchyFeely;): **Well, duh!

***WeaponX** has joined your chat*

**TouchyFeely;): **Hey, Logan! Watcha up to?

**WeaponX**: Hey, Rouge. Oh, nothing. Just finished creating an account to SummersChainMail dot Com.

**Cl****oudyDay**: This day keeps getting better and better!

**WeaponX: **Did you make a papier-mâché Sentinel?

**CloudyDay**: Who, us?

**WeaponX: **You two are my heroes.

**TouchyFeely;): **Up one on the Avengers?

**WeaponX**: Higher.

**CloudyDay**: Does Jean know?

**WeaponX: **She suspects, but I'm pretty sure I saw her making an account this morning. I walked into the lab and she was just staring a Google, so she minimized something quick and said "Oh, it's just you, Logan, I was afraid it was Scott." So she was either creating an account or looking up porn.

**TouchyFeely;): **My life is complete :D

**CloudyDay**: Not yet, it's not. We have more work to do.

**WeaponX: **Looks like I'll need more popcorn and beer. This is better then paperview.

**CloudyDay**: Want to help come up with a new Chain letter?

**WeaponX**: So much.

**CloudyDay**: Meet in Logan's room!

**TouchyFeely;): **Fun day!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chatroom Welcome**

** Login: Kingofhearts**

**Kingofhearts: **They are KILLING me, mon ami.

**2CoolForSchool: **Yeah, no kidding. Where do they come up with this crap?

**Kingofhearts: **Good question.

**2CoolForSchool:** They plugged a heater in my room and hid it.

**Kingofhearts**: Oh, lord.

**2CoolForSchool: **I'm Iceman, not the Human Torch!

**Kingofhearts:** You know that pack of cards I bought when Rouge and I went to Louisiana?

**2CoolForSchool**: The ones that cost you like eighty bucks?

**Kingofhearts:** They're gone.

**2CoolForSchool: **$*&!

**Kingofhearts: **Merde!

**2CoolForSchool: **We gotta do something, man.

**Kingofhearts: **Agreed.

**2CoolForSchool: **I think I have an idea.

**Kingofhearts: **Do tell.

**2CoolForSchool: **Meet me in the garage. Bring your cell phone. I think it's time we made a little call to a certain shape-shifter.

**Kingofhearts: **I think I see where this is going XD


	6. Chapter 6

**Chatroom Welcome**

** Login: DiamondStandard **

**DiamondStandard: **Have you seen Logan?

**Phoenix4ever: **Hello to you too, Emma. I'm fine thanks.

**DiamondStandard**: I can't find him anywhere!

**Phoenix4ever**: Have you tried his cell?

**DiamondStandard: **Yes.

**Phoenix4ever:** Maybe he went on a mission.

**DiamondStandard:** Oh…

**Phoenix4ever: **You okay?

**DiamondStandard**: Yeah. It's just…

**Phoenix4ever**: He's always on a mission.

**DiamondStandard: **Yes.

**Phoenix4ever**: I'm sorry, Emma.

**DiamondStandard:** I don't need you sympathy.

**Phoenix4ever: **Sheesh, just trying to help.

**DiamondStandard: **Well, don't.

**Phoenix4ever**: Scott's been gone a lot too.

**DiamondStandard: **You're not going to let this go, are you?

**Phoenix4ever:** Probably not.

**DiamondStandard:** I mean, what is this relationship to him? Every time he comes home, we drink, make love, joke around, but sometimes his mind is just astray.

**Phoenix4ever: **Too much info there, Em.

**DiamondStandard**: Jesus, he hasn't even told me he loves me! It's been three months, Jean. Three months! How long is a girl supposed to wait? I've thought about telling him, but have I? No. My father invited me to a family dinner. My FATHER. He hates me. He just wants the family to look perfect before mother bites the dust. And what if I wanted to take my boyfriend to my family dinner? Cordelia is bringing her flame, Adrienne has her fiancé, even Christian has managed to find a boyfriend, and he's gay! What am I supposed to do?

**Phoenix4ever**: Talk to Logan?

**DiamondStandard: **I can't do that.

**Phoenix4ever**: Why?

**DiamondStandard:** The thought frightens me more than any supervillan.

**Phoenix4ever: **Want me to talk to him?

**DiamondStandard: **Yeah, because THAT'S a good idea.

**Phoenix4ever**: Hmmm.

**DiamondStandard: **Hmmm?

**Phoenix4ever:** I think I have a plan.

**DiamondStandard:** Do tell.

**Phoenix4ever: **Just let me take care of it.

**DiamondStandard**: Do NOT make a fool of me, Jean Grey.

**Phoenix4ever**: I won't. Promise.

**DiamondStandard: **Well then . . . thank you.

**Phoenix4ever**: Sure. While I'm thinking about it, what's with the screenname?

**DiamondStandard:** It's pretty obvious, dear.

**Phoenix4ever: **It's a dish detergent logo.

**DiamondStandard: **What?

**Phoenix4ever:** For Finish Dish Detergent. It's the "Diamond Standard" dish cleaner.

**DiamondStandard: **What? No it's not. I came up with it myself.

**Phoenix4ever**: Look it up.

**DiamondStandard:** ... You bitch!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chatroom Welcome**

** Login: Phoenix4ever**

**OpticBlast12: **This isn't going to work out, Jean.

**Phoenix4ever: **Why isn't it?

**OpticBlast12: **Logan is too stubborn. He'll think you're just playing match maker.

**Phoenix4ever: **Technically they're already a couple, dear.

**OpticBlast12: **I know. But still. . .

**Phoenix4ever: **Sweetie, I'm going to ask you to do one thing for me.

**OpticBlast12: **What's that?

**Phoenix4ever: **Go away. Please.

**OpticBlast12: **Fine, fine. I'll go.

**Phoenix4ever: **Thank you. I'll see you in a bit.

***OpticBlast12*** has logged off.

***WeaponX* **has joined your chat

**WeaponX**: Scott just leave?

**Phoenix4ever**: Yeah.

**WeaponX**: Got here just in time.

**Phoenix4ever**: *Rolls Eyes* Oh, shush.

**WeaponX**: Sorry.

**Phoenix4ever**: No you're not. I'll get straight to the point – what's going on with you and Emma?

**WeaponX**: What?

**Phoenix4ever**: You. And Emma. Are you a couple?

**WeaponX**: Um. I think?

**Phoenix4ever**: You are.

**WeaponX**: Ok.

**Phoenix4ever**: Do you like her?

**WeaponX**: …Yeah, Jeannie. I do.

**Phoenix4ever**: Do you love her?

**WeaponX**: …

**Phoenix4ever**: Tell her.

**WeaponX**: Tell her what? That she drives me crazy? That I stay up at night and watch her sleep? That I think she's probably the most beautiful woman in the world, besides you?

**Phoenix4ever**: Don't you dare bring me into this, James Howlett, you and I would never work out and you know it. I love Scott, and I love you. But you, you mister, are an older story and you'll always have a place in my heart, but not like that. Do you accept me and Scott?

**WeaponX**: Jean…

**Phoenix4ever**: Do you?

**WeaponX**: Yeah.

**Phoenix4ever**: Good. We all accept you and Emma Frost. Are you going to ignore that?

**WeaponX**: No.

**Phoenix4ever**: You need to tell her.

**WeaponX**: Now.

**Phoenix4ever**: Now you've got the idea.

**WeaponX**: I'm in England, though.

**Phoenix4ever**: Well, the Professor came up with this chat room so we could keep in contact. Use it.

**WeaponX**: You're right.

**Phoenix4ever**: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? GET A MOVE ON!

***WeaponX*** has logged off.

**Phoenix4ever**: My work is done.

*******GenoshaJustice* **has logged on

**GenoshaJustice:** Not quite, young lady. Not quite.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chatroom Welcome!**

** Login: ScrewYouJeanGrey**

**WeaponX**: Em!

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Logan.

**WeaponX**: We need to talk.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Alright.

**WeaponX: **First off – the screen name?

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: She angered me about my last screen name

**WeaponX: **Ah.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: You wanted to talk?

**WeaponX: **Jean and I just had a talk.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Oh?

**WeaponX**: Yeah. She . . . enlightened me.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Go on.

**WeaponX**: She just made me realize who it is.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Pardon?

**WeaponX: **You know. Who it is that's always the first one I see when I come home from a mission, who it is that always kisses me and tells me how glad they are that I'm home safe and sound, who it is that distracts me from everything.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Mister Logan, I had no idea you could be such a romantic.

**WeaponX: **I know. Emma, I love you.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: You do?

**WeaponX: **I love the way you smile, you laugh, you kiss, you smell, you walk. Everything.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Oh, Logan . . .

**WeaponX**: What say you?

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: I love you so freaking much.

**WeaponX**: I can't wait to get home.

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Me either, because you're coming to dinner with my parents and family.

**WeaponX: **Wait, what?

**ScrewYouJeanGrey**: Love you, dear. See you Wednesday!

***ScrewYouJeanGrey*** has logged off.

**WeaponX: **I think I've been had.

***SuperDeadpool*** has joined your chat

**SuperDeadpool: **HAHA**!**

***SuperDeadpool*** has logged off

**WeaponX**: WHERE DO YOU KEEP COMING FROM?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chatroom Welcome!**

** Logain: Phoenix4ever**

**Phoenix4ever**: I can't believe I'm doing this.

**GenoshaJustice**: The chatroom?

**Phoenix4ever**: No. Helping you.

**GenoshaJustice**: I am a man true to my word, my dear.

**Phoenix4ever**: Sure. But you're also a mass murderer.

**GenoshaJustice**: Do we have an agreement or not, Miss Grey?

**Phoenix4ever**: Mrs. Grey-Summers, thank you very much. And yes, I'll do it.

**GenoshaJustice**: It will be worth it.

**Phoenix4ever**: Don't pull any Magneto-Against-Human crap.

**GenoshaJustice**: This assignment has nothing to do with it.

**Phoenix4ever**: I know. I'm warning you, though.

**GenoshaJustice**: Fine.

**Phoenix4ever**: I'll make sure some kind of bad Phoenix thing will happen. I swear, I will.

**GenoshaJustice**: Okay.

**Phoenix4ever**: You should probably change your screen name, too.

**GenoshaJustice**: Those were innocent victims, Jean. It will not go forgotten.

**Phoenix4ever**: You're supposed to be dead, remember?

**GenoshaJustice**: Eh. I go how I go.

**Phoenix4ever**: You are one weird supervillan.

**GenoshaJustice**: You know, I get that quite a bit.

**Phoenix4ever**: Imagine that.

**GenoshaJustice**: Before we . . . Log off. . .

**Phoenix4ever**: Yes?

**GenoshaJustice**: I keep getting these emails. . .

**Phoenix4ever**: Go on.

**GenoshaJustice**: They're from a site called SummersChainMail dot com.

**Phoenix4ever**: Oh God.

**GenoshaJustice**: The first one said, and I quote, "If you don't send this to eighteen mutants and thirteen minutes, Magneto will come and eat you."

**Phoenix4ever**: Oh dear.

**GenoshaJustice**: I'm a bit confused.

**Phoenix4ever**: We all are.

**GenoshaJustice**: ?

**Phoenix4ever**: Just keep sending them, Magneto. Just keep sending them.

**GenoshaJustice**: If you say so . . . We still have an agreement?

**Phoenix4ever**: Yes.

**GenoshaJustice**: Good.


	10. Chapter 10

**I just want to give a shout out to Jeanniebird! I always appreciate Jeannies constructive points and questions, and thanks for being supportive and reading!**

**Chatroom Welcome**

** Login: Youneverknow**

**Youneverknow**: This is a really, really stupid idea.

**2CoolForSchool**: No it's not! It's mutant gold!

**Kingofhearts**: Gold!

**Youneverknow**: What about Wolverine, hmm? I don't want to be slashed.

**2CoolForSchool**: We'll take care of Logan; You just go with the plan.

**Youneverknow**: *Sighs* Did you talk to Kurt?

**2CoolForSchool**: Yeah, he's in.

**Kingofhearts**: He thought it was genius.

**Youneverknow**: He would.

**2CoolForSchool**: Okay, lets go over the plan one more time. Remy, you sneak her in through the back door tomorrow when the Prof is in the city with Jean and Scott. I'll take care of Logan.

**Kingofhearts**: Got it.

**2CoolForSchool**: Mystique will sneak into Rouges room, and

**Kingofhearts**: Wait.

**2CoolForSchool**: What?

**Kingofhearts**: Don't open the bottom drawer.

**Youneverknow**: Dear lord.

**2CoolForSchool**: Remy . . .?

**Kingofhearts**: I'm just making sure. It's . . . Private.

**2CoolForSchool**: Wait, is that the one that's hidden?

**Kingofhearts**: Yes.

**2CoolForSchool**: Does Rouge know about it?

**Kingofhearts**: No.

**2CoolForSchool**: Playpen?

**Kingofhearts**: None of your damn business!

**Youneverknow**: It is!

**2CoolForSchool**: Wow. I thought everyone stashed them under my bed.

**Kingofhearts**: That's sorta weird, Bobby.

**2CoolForSchool**: No, no. It's like, people come running into my room like "Bobby, can I hide these here?" or "Bobby, someones going to find out – hide these!" or one time – just once like a zillion years ago – Scott hid his lone one under my bed and it's been there ever since.

**Kingofhearts**: Ha!

**2CoolForSchool**: So, yeah.

**Kingofhearts**: How many do you have?

**2CoolForSchool**: All together? I dunno, 80? Counting the ones randomly dropped off.

**Youneverknow: **Conversation stop. Look, I'll be there, ok?

***Youneverknow*** has logged off.

**Kingsofhearts:** Is this wrong?

**2CoolForSchool:** The magazines or the prank?

**Kingsofhearts:** Both?

**2CoolForSchool:** Don't worry about it, Rem. We're gonna get these girls goooooood.


	11. Chapter 11

**OpticBlast12**: So you, uh . . . you wanted to talk to me?

**WeaponX**: Yeah.

**OpticBlast12**: Okay . . . so . . . what do you want?

**WeaponX**: Well, I just kinda need your help.

**OpticBlast12**: Wait, what?

**WeaponX**: Shut up. I said I need your help.

**OpticBlast12**: I'll be back in a minute.

**WeaponX**: The hell are you going?

**OpticBlast12**: I just wanted to see if pigs were flying.

**WeaponX**: Were they?

**OpticBlast12**: Nope.

**WeaponX**: Maybe I shouldn't be here then.

**OpticBlast12**: Maybe not.

**WeaponX**: But.

**OpticBlast12**: But.

**WeaponX**: Yeah. But.

**OpticBlast12**: So what do you need help with? Danger Room? Fridge out of beer?

**WeaponX**: Emma wants me to come to dinner with her family.

**OpticBlast12**: I've heard. Whats that have to do with anything? And while we're at it, why are talking on the computer? Why don't we just go downstairs?

**WeaponX**: I don't want no one to know I'm asking for help from a boyscout!

**OpticBlast12**: Ah.

**WeaponX**: Listen: She wants me to come to dinner with her daddy. Her pops is a real hard ass. She says she doesn't wanna impress him, but I know she does. And I just wanna appear . . . I don't know, 'good.'

**OpticBlast12**: This is awesome.

**WeaponX**: Shut the hell up.

**OpticBlast12**: Okay, so what do you want from me? A bug in your ear and I'll tell you what to say? Jesus.

**WeaponX**: Look, Summers, I asked because you're so damn perfect. One time I'm asking you for a real favor, could ya just help me out?

**OpticBlast12**: Alright. I'll give you a few pointers.

**WeaponX**: Good.

**OpticBlast12**: And I'm not a boyscout! Where did that even come from?

***Phoenix4ever*** has joined your chat.

**Phoenix4ever**: Hey, fellas. What are you up too?

**OpticBlast12**: About time! Where are you?

**Phoenix4ever**: I was working on something. I'm on my way home now. What are you boys doing in chat together, anyway? Do I need to mediate?

**WeaponX**: I was trying to tell your stupid husband the best ways to operate the Danger Room.

**OpticBlast12**: And I was telling him to put a sock in it if he ever wants my HELP with the lessons again.

**Phoenix4ever**: Why is HELP in caps?

**OpticBlast12**: Caps button got stuck. See you soon.

***OpticBlast12***has logged off.

**WeaponX**: Heh. Boyscout.


	12. Chapter 12

**SuperDeadpool**: C'mon, Prof, you can't tell me it doesn't make sense.

**Prof.X**: I apologize Mister Wilson, but I don't see where it could be possible.

**SuperDeadpool**: !

**Prof.X**: It's just not rational.

**SuperDeadpool**: I'm telling ya, Chuck! We are not living our own lives! Theres a pale little pasty man behind the curtain, and they are making our lives UP! We have no free will! Well, I kinda do, but that's only because I KNOW!

**Prof.X**: Mister Wilson, you are a certified psychopath.

**SuperDeadpool**: Was that an insult? Did I just get insulted by Professor X?

**Prof.X**: Please, Mister Wilson!

**SuperDeadpool**: There are movies, too!

**Prof.X**: Wade . . .

**SuperDeadpool**: Interesting fact! For the Daredevil movie –

**Prof.X**: Oh, the Avengers are stuck in a comic book as well?

**SuperDeadpool**: Yeah. Anyway, when Matts dad Jack is about to fight – you know, before he gets beat to death – on the sign outside it says he's going to fight "John Romita." Then when the character Fallon is talking to him, he's like "Miller, Bendis, they're all my fighters!" Miller and Bendis and Romita! They all work for Marvel comics!

**Prof.X**: Interesting.

**SuperDeadpool**: Well?

**Prof.X**: You are insane.

**SuperDeadpool**: #%&%(#$%&^#$&(%#$^!^&*$*()(#%^%$%^!

**Prof.X**: I'd like to see the curse that has that many letters.

***WeaponX*** has joined your chat

**Prof.X**: Logan! Thank God.

**WeaponX**: Sup, Chuck?

**Prof.X**: Mr. Wilson was attempting to explain how the world works.

**WeaponX**: HA!

**SuperDeadpool**: It's true.

**WeaponX**: You're a damned loon.

**SuperDeadpool**: I know you are but what am I?

**WeaponX**: . . . Chuck, please let me kill him.

**SuperDeadpool**: Hey, I heard you're banging Emma. Nice!

**WeaponX**: And I suddenly don't care about Charles permission.

***WeaponX*** has logged off.

**SuperDeadpool**: Uh-oh.

**Prof.X**: Mister Wilson?

**SuperDeadpool**: Yes?

**Prof.X**: I suggest you run.

***SuperDeadpool* **has logged off.


	13. Chapter 13

**Really short chapter, I know, but I wanted everyone to know that whatever it is Jean and Magneto are planning, it's not THAT dangerous . . . **

**SpeedMaster**: What's going on with you and my father?

**Phoenix4ever**: Who's this?

**SpeedMaster**: Pietro, duh.

**Phoenix4ever**: Oh. Hey, Pietro.

**SpeedMaster**: Hi, Jean.

**Phoenix4ever**: So what's up?

**SpeedMaster**: Like I said, what is going on with you two?

**Phoenix4ever**: It's a . . . long, complicated story.

**SpeedMaster**: You know what? I have time.

**Phoenix4ever**: Of course you do.

**SpeedMaster**: Well?

**Phoenix4ever**: Okay, look. I'm not really supposed to tell anyone. . .

**SpeedMaster**: Jean. . .

**Phoenix4ever**: But I can promise it's nothing dangerous.

***Kingofhearts **has joined your chat*****

**Kingofhearts**: Jean, I demand you do something about Rouge and Storm!

**Phoenix4ever**: What did they do this time?

**Kingofhearts**: Ask the rain cloud floating above my head.

**Phoenix4ever**: Aww, don't feel sad, Remy. It'll pass.

**Kingofhearts**: No – Jean, there is literally a rain cloud above my head. Anytime I go outside, it's waiting for me. I have to carry an umbrella in eighty degree weather!

**Phoenix4ever**: Oh my.

**Kingofhearts**: I am soaked!

**SpeedMaster**: :) I have to come back to the mansion soon!


	14. Chapter 14

**OpticBlast12**: Rule Number 1 – eat with your mouth closed.

**WeaponX**: Yeah.

**OpticBlast12**: Rule Number 2 – Don't smoke in the house. Actually, don't smoke outside the house, either.

**WeaponX**: Got it.

**OpticBlast12**: Rule Number 3 – don't talk about sentinels, mutants, killing, or slashing.

**WeaponX**: What if they start it?

**OpticBlast12**: Rule Number 4 – Don't call anyone "Bub."

**WeaponX**: You're pushing it.

**OpticBlast12**: Rule Number 5 – Keep the sarcasm on the down low.

**WeaponX**: More impossible then slamming a revolving door, bub.

**OpticBlast12**: And Rule Number 6 – don't stare at Emma's tits all night.

**WeaponX**: Wait. Did you just say tits?

**OpticBlast12**: Try and be mature and classy.

**WeaponX**: SCOTT SUMMERS SAID TITS! SCOTT SUMMERS SAID TITS!

**OpticBlast12**: You're hopeless.

**WeaponX**: Boyscout!

**OpticBlast12**: Stop that!

**WeaponX**: So, what do I wear?

**OpticBlast12**: Do you own a tux?

**WeaponX**: I have a suit.

**OpticBlast12**: Is it powder blue?

**WeaponX**: No.

**OpticBlast12**: Thank God for that.

**WeaponX**: I guess I should shave.

**OpticBlast12**: It would be a good idea. And don't do your hair in that ridiculous horn style of yours. And do something with those sideburns.

**WeaponX**: Emma likes my sideburns.

**OpticBlast12**: Emma might, but her father might not.

**WeaponX**: Ah.

**OpticBlast12**: Just don't mess this up, okay, Logan? She can be a bitch, but Emma deserves to have a least one good night with her family.

**WeaponX**: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

**OpticBlast12**: I'm SERIOUS Logan. Mess this up, and you won't just have me to deal with. You'll have her to deal with.

**WeaponX**: Yikes.

**OpticBlast12**: Uh-huh.

**WeaponX**: So should I thank you for helping me?

**OpticBlast12**: It would be nice, yes.

**WeaponX**: OK.

**OpticBlast12**: Well?

**WeaponX**: Huh? Oh, sorry, I was looking for something.

**OpticBlast12**: What?

**WeaponX**: Flying pigs.

**OpticBlast12**: Ho-ha.

**WeaponX**: Thanks, Slim.

**OpticBlast12**: Yeah. You're welcome.

**WeaponX**: I still think you're an asshole.

**OpticBlast12**: I wouldn't have it any other way.


	15. Chapter 15

**2CoolForSchool: **Check it out; I have a recording of Emma and Logan's big date!

**Phoenix4ever: **No way.

**2CoolForSchool:** Way.

**Phoenix4ever**: Hold on.

***OpticBlast12 **hasentered your chat*

**Phoenix4ever**: Ok. Warren?

**Worthington3rd**: Here.

**Phoenix4ever**: Remy?

**Kingofhearts**: Oi.

**Phoenix4ever**: Kitty?

**KittyKat**: Here!

**Phoenix4ever**: Rouge?

**TouchyFeely;)**: Right here!

**Phoenix4ever**: Storm?

**CloudyDay**: Here.

**Phoenix4ever**: Kurt?

**^BAMF^**: I'm here!

**Phoenix4ever: **And Hank.

**TrueBlue: **Present!

**Phoenix4ever**: Good. Let's listen to this thing.

*Noise of car doors slamming and heels clanking, then a doorbell rings.*

Emma: *Whispering* Tuck in your shirt!

The door opens, and Logan and Emma are led to the dining room. All chatter stops as Logan and Emma enter.

Emma: Hello, everyone.

*Emma and Logan sit down.*

Adrienne, Emma's eldest sister: Emma, I want you to meet Alejandro. My fiancé.

Emma: Hello, Alejandro. Let me guess – first she thought you were poor, but turned out you were rich.

Winston, Emma's Father: *In a warning voice* Emma. . .

Emma: Sorry, daddy.

Cordelia, the middle sister: And this is James. He's a vegan.

Emma: *Snorts*

Hazel, Emma's mother: Who's this, Emma?

Emma: This is Logan Howlett, my boyfriend.

Logan: Hey.

**(OpticBlast12 – Hey? HEY? I give him all those tips and the best he can come up with is "Hey"?)**

Hazel: Tell us about yourself Logan.

Emma: *Quickly* Logan works with S.H.I.E.L.D.

**(Phoenix4ever: Oh, that's just low)**

**(TrueBlue: This is highly amusing. Am I the only one finding this highly amusing?)**

Hazel: Really? S.H.I.E.L.D.? How exciting! Winston, isn't that exciting?

Winston: Not really – he looks like a man-wolf missing a few feet of height.

Emma: As a matter of fact, Logan is the next Nick Fury!

**(^BAMF^: HA!)**

**(TrueBlue: Seriously, this is great. Am I the only one laughing?)**

**(NFury: Yep.)**

**(Phoenix4ever: Where did you come from?)**

Logan: *Obviously uncomfortable* I wouldn't say the NEXT Nick Fury. . .

Winston: What does your family do, Logan?

Logan: Both of my parents are deceased, sadly. But I've had a good life, living with my Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Unfortunately, my Uncle Ben was murdered last year.

Emma: *Starts choughing.*

Logan: You okay, honey?

**(-No comments due to all of the other X-Men are rolling on the floor with laughter-)**

Emma: Fine!

Winston: You sort of look like an asshole, Mr. Howlett. Which means you're too good for my daughter and you should leave her at once.

Emma: Daddy!

Logan: *Laughing too hard to talk**Sobers himself*You got the wrong idea 'bout your girl here. She's a great person, and a fantastic teacher.

Winston: YOU'RE A TEACHER?

Emma: Dammit, Logan!

Logan: Was that a secret?

*All of the sudden, there's the sound of glass breaking, and we hear snarling*

**(SuperDeadpool: ^&*, is that Sabretooth?)**

**(Phoenix4ever: Wade, where did you come from?)**

*Sound of Hazel, Adrienne and Alejandro screaming, Emma sighing and cursing, and then a _SKINT_ and grunting as Logan and Sabretooth fight.

*A few moments later, Logan sits back down as though nothing happened.*

Logan: *Clearing his throat* Just ignore the huge gaping hole in your wall.

Adrienne: YOU FREAK!

Winston: Where on earth did you get those claws, boy!

Logan: *Noise of him lighting cigar* Well, it's like this, Bub . . .

**(OpticBlast 12: *Groans*)**

Logan: I wanted to do some tests in space, so me, my best friend, my ex-girlfriend, and my ex-girlfriends brother went into space. While we were there, we got hit with some sort of cosmic radiation, giving us these powers –

Emma: *Standing* We'll be leaving now, goodbye!

_**End of tape.**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Mobile Phone Chat: Login: TouchyFeely;):**

**TouchyFeely;)**: Ororo? Ororo?

**CloudyDay**: I'm here!

**TouchyFeely;)**: I thought you were gone!

**CloudyDay**: Why?

**TouchyFeely;)**: Ororo, its gunna sound crazy, but I swear I just saw you fall from the roof and land on the ground! But when I ran down there, you were gone!

**CloudyDay**: Rouge, I've been in the kitchen all day! Speaking of which, why are you texting me when you are in the living room?

**TouchyFeely;)**: I'm NOT in the living room!

**CloudyDay**: But I just saw you!

**TouchyFeely;)**: You couldn't have! I just got done doing a Danger Room session, and I've been upstairs since!

**CloudyDay**: That's impossible! You came through the kitchen and told me T'Challa called, remember? And I called him, but he said he hadn't?

**TouchyFeely;)**: I never said that!

**CloudyDay**: But, I saw you!

**TouchyFeely;)**: What's going on?

***2CoolForSchool*** has joined your chat.

**2CoolForSchool**: Rouge! Are you okay?

**TouchyFeely;)**: Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

**2CoolForSchool**: I was just in the attic, and I looked out the window and saw a tree fall on you! I didn't know what happened, so I iced down there, but you were gone!

**TouchyFeely;)**: Nuh-uh! I haven't been outside! Something awful is happenin, Bobby! Everythings going wacky!

**2CoolForSchool**: What do we do?

**TouchyFeely;)**: I don't know!

**2CoolForSchool**: I'd get out of here! Get to New York and find the Prof and Jean and figure out what's going on!

**TouchyFeely;)**: You're right! Ororo, will you come with me?

**CloudyDay**: Lets go!

*** CloudyDay*** has logged off.

*** TouchyFeely;)*** has logged off.

**2CoolForSchool**: Phase One complete :D


	17. Chapter 17

**Short chapter, I know! But the next one is worth is!**

**Prof.X**: Here they come, Jean.

**Phoenix4ever:** Alright. You sure you're okay with this, Charles?

**Prof.X**: As inappropriate as it is for me to say this aloud, while Ororo was doing my laundry, she and Rouge got the idea that it would be somewhat hilarious to sew together the leg holes of my underwear.

**Phoenix4ever: **No way!

**Prof.X**: Indeed.

**Phoenix4ever: **That trick is so old!

**Prof.X**: Yes, well, that did not stop them.

**Phoenix4ever: **Wow, ok. This is too funny. Ha.

**Prof.X**: Could we please change the subject?

**Phoenix4ever**: Of course. Where are you?

**Prof.X**: Across the street, at the library. I can see you.

**Phoenix4ever**: And I you.

**Prof.X**: There's their cab – Ororo is getting out now. Rouge is right behind her.

**Phoenix4ever**: Good. Mystique is with you?

**Prof.X**: Yes, she is disguised as you. I have to go.

***Prof.X **has logged off*****

***2CoolForSchool **has logged off*****

**Phoenix4ever**: Hey, Bobby. Ready?

**2CoolForSchool**: You bet!

**Phoenix4ever**: Ok, then, I think it's time for action. You have you're the camera on, right?

**2CoolForSchool**: Yeah. See you in twenty minutes.

***2CoolForSchool** has logged off*


	18. Chapter 18

**Dear Scott,**

**Sup, Cyke? Listen, I got this whole thing recorded, and it is freaking **_**awesome! **_**Anyway, it's so hilarious, I wanted you to be the first to see it, seeing as you suffered the whole, you know, chain mail game. So here it is! Lucky I was behind a plant the whole time taping it.**

**P.S., If you don't send this video to the whole X-Mansion by tomorrow morning, you will suffer Bobbys wrath! ;)**

* * *

><p>Rogue and Storm entered the library quickly, looking around frantically for the Professor, who they find in an aisle talking to Jean.<p>

"Professor, Professor!" The women yelled, running for him.

"Rogue, Ororo, what is it?" Asked the Professor.

"Professor, there are some strange things going on at the mansion! We were both in two places!"

"Yeah, at once!" Rogue added.

"Are you quite sure?" The Professor frowned.

"YES!" Both the women yelled.

"I'm not sure . . ." The Professor said, unconvinced.

"Jean, you believe us, right?" Ororo pleaded.

"Nope. Can't say I do," Jean said with an incline of her head.

"What!"

Jean shrugged.

"Look," Professor said. "This may not be the right time, but while you're here. . ." He looked at Jean. "Well, tell them, Jean."

"Tell us what?" Rogue demanded.

Jean took the Professors hand. "I've left Scott and the Professor and I are getting married."

Rogue and Storm blinked. "Wait, what?" asked Storm.

"That's insane!" yelled Rogue.

"Why would you do this?" Storm cried.

The Professor gave a nervous laugh. "Well, it's not because she's pregnant or anything."

"Charles!" Jean said in a loud whisper. "We were saving that for later!"

Rogue and Storm just stared, gasping and searching for words.

"Hey!" They looked at the door, where another Jean stood. Rogue looked from that Jean, to the one by the Professor, then the one by the door, then the one by the Professor. Rogue and Storm looked at each other.

Jean II by the door attacked Jean I, and the women went rolling all over the place, screaming and pulling each other's hair, destroying books and knocking over shelves. The Professor, Rogue, and Storm just stared. Finally, Jean I and Jean II jumped apart. Jean I shifted, her skin turning blue and her hair getting short.

"Mystique!" Storm and Rogue both gasped.

Mystique grinned and spun around, running away.

"Wait – wait, so that was . . . Mystique. The whole time?" Rogue asked.

"I guess so," the Professor said with an unconcerned shrug.

"So . . . So you and Jean ain't gettin' married and havin' a baby?" Rogue asked.

Jean frowned. "Huh? Oh, no, that part was true."

Storm and Rogue looked at each other, then they turned and ran out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Ha! I told you it was hilarious! The expressions on Storm and Rogues face . . . Though, I doubt it'll be the last time 'Ro and Rogue pull a prank – after all, now they have to get us back!<strong>

**See ya in 10 for the Danger Room!**

**-Bobby**


	19. Chapter 19

**WeaponX**: Alright, alright, we're back, quit yer bellyachin'.

**Phoenix4ever**: Logan, be nice. We've been gone a while.

**WeaponX**: Hurm.

**Kingofhearts**: Eh, and don't forget to rate and review! We gotta have some fun in between these killer missions, yes?

**TouchyFeely;)**: We'll try to be on more! Be good, sugahs!

Enjoy the rest of the story!

* * *

><p><strong>SpeedMaster<strong>: This is not to go one anymore.

**Phoenix4ever**: God, do you ever just give a polite "Hello, Jean, how are you today?"

**SpeedMaster**: For the love of . . . Hello, Jean, how are you today?

**Phoenix4ever**: I'm good, Pietro. Thank you for asking. Now, what was it you were saying?

**SpeedMaster**: All's my father's ever doing is chatting on the computer. He hasn't schemed in weeks.

**Phoenix4ever**: That's a good thing, yeah?

**SpeedMaster**: Well, yeah. But Wanda has been bringing him food and water. He only ever gets up to go to the bathroom.

**Phoenix4ever**: Come on, we don't talk that much!

**SpeedMaster**: Well, I got tired of it. So I told him that he could make his computer run faster if he had a better printer.

**Phoenix4ever**: He bought that?

**SpeedMaster**: I don't know much about computers . . .

**Phoenix4ever**: Apparently, he doesn't either.

**SpeedMaster**: Anyway, he went down to Best Buy, and when he was gone, I checked his browser history. There were lots of conversations between him and someone called "JFox."

**Phoenix4ever**: What kind of conversations?

**SpeedMaster**: Gross, gooey romantic stuff.

**Phoenix4ever**: D'aw.

**SpeedMaster**: Did you set my father up on a singles chat room?

**Phoenix4ever**: . . . . . . . .

**SpeedMaster**: Jean?

**Phoenix4ever**: . . . . . . . .

**SpeedMaster**: Jean!

**Phoenix4ever**: I'm sorry, Jean Grey is not currently available. Please, try again in, like, a really long time.

**SpeedMaster**: Jean. What did you do?

**Phoenix4ever**: He contacted me about getting a date. He wanted a nice, mutant lady around his age. I found a great match for him online. Very nice, good tempered. Quite pretty for her age, and a talented elemental manipulator. Her name is Janna Fox. He didn't want me to say anything because he was embarrassed.

**SpeedMaster**: Why did he come to you, though.

**Phoenix4ever**: Dunno. Maybe it's just cause I was always the nicest to him, besides Charles.

**SpeedMaster**: When do I meet Janna Fox?

**Phoenix4ever**: She lives in Washington DC. Her and your father have had a couple of in person dates, but they talk on the computer a lot. Hence the chat rooms.

**SpeedMaster**: So . . . all this suspicion? The suspense? Was all because my father is getting some?

**Phoenix4ever**: Well . . . pretty much, yeah.

**SpeedMaster**: #$% #%#~# $*^%&*%$#%&^ %$^%&*$%!#%$^%&^%!# $%$%^%&^&*# $#!

**Phoenix4ever**: Did Deadpool teach you that word?

**SpeedMaster**: I can't believe this!

***OpticBlast12** has entered your chat*

**OpticBlast12**: Hey, guys. What's going on in here?

**SpeedMaster**: What's going on here, is that your wife has set my father up on a site for single mutants!

**OpticBlast12**: Seriously?

**Phoenix4ever**: Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match . . .

**OpticBlast12**: I can't believe you.

**Phoenix4ever**: Find me a find, catch me a catch . . .

**OpticBlast12**: Ha. Magneto's got a girlfriend, huh?

**Phoenix4ever**: She's quite nice. I thought maybe she'd mellow him out a bit.

**SpeedMaster**: You, Jean Grey Summers, are a meddler!

**Phoenix4ever**: Hey, I take great pride in that title!

***SuperDeadpool** has entered your chat*

**SpeedMaster**: Oh, Jesus Christ.

**SuperDeadpool**: Hey, listen, do any of you guys have a lawnmower, a Christmas wreath, and/or a trombone?

***SpeedMaster **has logged off*

***OpticBlast12 **has logged off*

***Phoenix4ever **has logged off*

**SuperDeadpool**: Guys? Guys? GUYS? !


	20. Chapter 20

**TouchyFeely;): **We have gotta come up with some new stuff, 'Ro.

**CloudyDay**: You're telling me.

**TouchyFeely;): **Let's brainstorm.

**CloudyDay**: We got Scott, the Prof, Bobby, Remy . . .

**TouchyFeely;): **Dontcha forget that they got us back. We gotta be prepared.

**CloudyDay**: So, how about we . . .

**TouchyFeely;): **Um. . .

**CloudyDay**: Hmm . . .

**TouchyFeely;): **Well, we could just . . .

**CloudyDay**: Or we could . . .

**TouchyFeely;): **We're hopeless.

**CloudyDay**: Wait! Maybe not!

**TouchyFeely;): **Do you have an idea?

**CloudyDay**: I think I do!

**TouchyFeely;): **Well don't just sit there, Sugah! Tell!

**CloudyDay**: What annoys Logan more than anything in the world?

**TouchyFeely;): **Scott?

**CloudyDay**: Besides him.

**TouchyFeely;): **Deadpool?

**CloudyDay**: Well, besides him . . .

**TouchyFeely;)**: Sabretooth?

**CloudyDay**: Um . . .

**TouchyFeely;)**: Spider-Man? Jubilee? Remy? Me?

**CloudyDay**: Christmas music! Logan hates Christmas music!

**TouchyFeely;)**: Go on.

**CloudyDay**: So we play it continuously!

**TouchyFeely;)**: Not bad.

**CloudyDay**: Shall we?

**TouchyFeely;)**: Indeed we shall.


	21. Chapter 21

**WeaponX**: Hey, Jeannie.

**Phoenix4ever**: Hey, Logan.

**WeaponX**: What's going on?

**Phoenix4ever**: Not much.

**WeaponX**: Heard you hooked Magneto up.

**Phoenix4ever**: Is everyone talking about that?

**WeaponX**: It's an interesting topic.

**Phoenix4ever**: It's not that interesting!

**WeaponX**: If you say so.

**Phoenix4ever**: I do! I don't understand why it's such a big deal! I mean, come on. I helped a guy out. This will probably totally chill him out, you know?

**WeaponX**: What the hell?

**Phoenix4ever**: What?

**WeaponX**: What is . . . where the hell is that music coming from?

**Phoenix4ever**: Music?

**WeaponX**: It's playing really loud . . . I can't tell where it is.

**Phoenix4ever**: What kind of music?

**WeaponX**: I think it's . . . Jesus, its _Christmas _music.

**Phoenix4ever**: Christmas music?

**WeaponX**: Son of a bitch . . . where is that coming from?

**Phoenix4ever**: Well, we all know how much you love Christmas music.

**WeaponX**: . . . It stopped . . .

**Phoenix4ever**: Frosty, the snow man . . .

**WeaponX**: You cut it out.

**Phoenix4ever**: Santa Claus is coming to town!

**WeaponX**: It's July!

**Phoenix4ever**: Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

**WeaponX**: I wonder what that was about . . .

**Phoenix4ever**: Dunno. Maybe Emma's playing it?

**WeaponX**: Emma loves Christmas, but not in July.

**Phoenix4ever**: Well, maybe it's the girls again.

**WeaponX**: Dammit! There it is again!

**Phoenix4ever**: Where are you?

**WeaponX**: In the Jet.

**Phoenix4ever**: Are you flying?

**WeaponX**: Scott is.

**Phoenix4ever**: What is he doing?

**WeaponX**: Laughing hysterically.

**Phoenix4ever**: That's great.

**WeaponX**: Tell the girls to run. I'm coming after them.


End file.
